If the project is running smoothly, using project management best practices such as those promoted by the Project Management Institute and the Software Program Managers Network may be all that is required to keep the project under control.

When Stress and Chaos Show Up
The ultimate test of a project leader is how he or she leads a project in stressful and chaotic situations, such as when:

• Difficult interpersonal interactions between and among team members become a drag on productivity
• Changes to project scope, budget, or quality requirements become unreasonable and intolerable
• Conflicts over needs among various project stakeholders threaten to bring progress to a standstill
• Swings in emotions, energy, and attention associated with the leader's "personal" problems begin to confuse and frustrate nearly everyone associated with the project.

What Is Needed
What is needed from the project leader--more than project management best practices--in these stressful and chaotic situations are:

1. The ability to be personally authentic, emotionally intelligent, and respectful of others
2. The ability to assess such situations in terms of what makes sense for him, others, and the project's current context
3. The ability to make contact with others so that he and they can use the resources we all have within us to solve problems creatively.

By "personally authentic, emotionally intelligent, and respectful of others" I mean:
The project leader doesn't pretend to be stronger or weaker than he is. He doesn't pretend he is unaffected by the situation. He doesn't ignore the situation by pretending it isn't happening.

The project leader's courage to say yes and no with integrity--and to take responsibility for the outcome--flows from his high self-esteem. He doesn't say yes when he means no and vice versa out of fear or external pressure. He uses his emotional awareness to help him understand his own response to the situation and connect with others on a more intimate level when appropriate. He respects others by using techniques to help him check out with others directly what is appropriate for them rather than assuming he knows.

By "assess such situations in terms of what makes sense for him, others, and the project's current context" I mean:
He keeps an open mind and heart while searching for solutions that acknowledge the needs and realities of all three--himself, others, and context. He makes contact with others and finds out what they need and what their realities are. He investigates to understand his project's current context. He revisits any chosen solutions periodically because needs and realities change over time.

By "making contact with others so that he and they can use the resources we all have within us to solve problems creatively" I mean:
He makes a connection with others. The connection can be physical, emotional, intellectual, or a combination of these. It can be very brief--for a microsecond or two--or for a longer period of time. Making contact is a way of saying, "I see you. I hear you. I am ready to receive and to give." If you don't make contact first, the quality of whatever happens next between you and the other person may fall short of what you expect.

Blaming, criticizing, or demanding are not good ways of making contact with others.

The resources we all have within us to solve problems creatively include the following:

• Voice to say what we really think and feel
• Courage to take a risk in our own behalf, knowing there will be difficulties
• Wisdomto know in our deepest way of knowing what fits for us
• Choice to choose with integrity, saying our real yes and our real no
• Openness to investigate without judging
• Curiosity to explore the unknown and check out new possibilities