A Fifth Way to Cope: Congruently
You do it like this:
1. Focus on yourself first: Notice how your body feels
- Your breathing, your posture, off balance, pain, trembling, dizziness, clenching teeth, clutching your hands etc.?
2. Make adjustments within yourself.
- Alter your posture
- Take control of your breathing
- Relax
- Give yourself an appreciation (respect yourself)
3. Make contact with the other person.
- Be respectful
- Pay attention to his/her body signals
- Now focus on the problem, seeking clarification
(how does he/she define the problem?)
- Comment on the present situation in “I’ terms & present tense
- Keep it short and clear in objective terms
4. Wait for the other person to respond.
5. Repeat steps 1-4 as needed.