“The problem is not the problem. The problem is coping with the problem.” V. Satir
We each decide if something is a “problem” differently.
Once we decide we have a problem, we have four ways we typically cope:
- Blaming: “I am everything; you are nothing”
- Placating: “You are everything; I am nothing”
- Super reasonable: “The problem is everything; you and I are nothing”
- Irrelevant: “Nothing matters; it’s all a joke”
We each have our favorite way to cope.
These are called “survival strategies” and that’s why we use them. They work! At least in the short run.